Spiritfarer Wiki

Albert is a character in Spiritfarer and he runs the Shipyard where you get upgrades for your Boat. Each time you visit and talk to him he will have a fin-tastic joke for you.


  • "You know we always joke about the construction here? Don't worry. We're still working on it. Rararara!"
  • "I once had a friend who cut his own toe. He had a new one made of rubber. He was called Roberto. Get it? Rarrararrrrr!!!"
  • "Did you know that I'm the best at sleeping? So good in fact that that I can do it with my eyes closed! Rarrarararrrrr!!!"
  • "We are closing early today, Stella. I have an appointment at the dentist. It's at Tooth 'O Clock. Rarrarararrrrr!!!"
  • "I hope there’s a mirror in that Cellar of yours! Because it's looking gouda! Rararararrr!!!"
  • "My mother had a Coop on her childhood farm. ... Oh, my mother! She wasn't mad at me when I did bad things. She was disappointed in me! I suppose I wasn't what I cracked up to be! Rararararrr!!!"
  • "You've got a cow on your boat. That's neat. Do you know why cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lack toes! Rararararrr!!!"
  • "Are you hungry? I know a great place to eat. It's called The Desert. It’s famous for its sand which I’m sure you’ll like. Rararararrr!!!"
  • "I heard they just fired an employee at the popcorn factory. He was a good worker. But... they found him sleeping on the cob! Rararararrr!!!"
  • "My friend, John, has been sent to prison. He was a blacksmith. He was caught forging other people's signatures. Rararararrr!!!"
  • "That's a nice Garden. Knock Knock! ... Who's there? ... Lettuce ... Lettuce, who? ... Lettuce in and you'll find out! Rararararrr!!!"
  • "Wait one second! I don't have a joke for the Loom yet. I might have one soon. It's coming. I can feel it... looming over me. Rararararrr!!!"
  • "That Mill looks impressive. Did you know what they call one lonely grain of corn in a tree? No, guess! ... Acorn! Rararararrr!!!"
  • "You've got a beautiful Orchard full of apples. You do know what lives and reads inside, don't you? ... Bookworms. Rararararrr!!!"
  • "You can do incredible things with a sawmill these days. You can even go on the internet. You can LOG in! Get it? Rararararrr!!!"
  • "Look at your hair! Look like someone's been at the baa-baa shop. Rararararrr!!! ... Get it? Because of the sheep on your boat. Nevermind."
  • "That's one mighty foundry. When they built it... they were surely thinking outside the bauxite. Rararararrr!!!


Listen to ten of Albert's jokes to earn the "Dad Mode" achievement.

Protagonists StellaDaffodil
Spirits GwenAtulSummerAliceAstridGiovanniGustavBruce & MickeyBeverlyStanleyBuckElenaJackieDariaLily
Other AlbertAlexCharonFrancisHadesIrinaMashaOlgaSusanTheodore